Can You Love Your Body and Still Want to Lose Weight? Yes.
Can You Love Your Body and Still Want to Lose Weight? Yes.
Why body positivity, confidence and self-worth are so often misunderstood.
More and more recently, I see articles appear claiming celebrities who once spoke positively about their bodies — but have since lost weight — are somehow frauds.
The latest version of this argument that I had the displeasure of reading, specifically targeted Meghan Trainor, suggesting that if she now looks different than she did before, then everything she ever said about her own body image or positive feelings towards her body must have been a lie.
It’s a dramatic headline. It’s clickable. It sparks outrage. It’s also based on a fundamental misunderstanding of what positive body image actually is.
Body Positivity Was Never About Promoting Obesity
Let’s clear this up immediately. Body positivity is not about telling people to ignore their health.
It is not about encouraging unhealthy habits. It is not about saying everyone should stay exactly as they are forever. And it is not about glorifying one body type over another.
Body positivity, at its healthiest meaning, is about this:
Treating yourself with dignity, compassion and respect in the body you have right now — while still being allowed to have goals for the future.
That’s it.
You Can Want Change Without Hating Yourself First
This is where many people get it wrong. They assume there are only two options:
1. You love your body, so you never want to change it
2. You want to change your body, so you must hate it now
Real life is far more nuanced than that. You can be working toward fat loss, fitness, strength, hormonal healing or better health without despising yourself in the process. You can want to feel lighter, stronger or more comfortable without being at war with your reflection. You can love yourself now and still evolve later. That is not hypocrisy. That is healing and building resilience to conditioning, exclusion, comparison pressure, trauma, bullying, unrealistic media standards and lack of inclusion in the fashion industry.
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Read the guidePoor Body Image Exists at Every Size
This is another truth people often miss. Someone can be in a body that society praises — slim, toned, conventionally attractive — and still feel deeply unhappy in themselves.
Likewise, someone in a larger body can feel joyful, socially confident, stylish, attractive and emotionally secure. Body image is not just weight. It is the relationship you have with your body.
It affects whether you:
• go to the gym class you wanted to try
• apply for the promotion
• go on the date
• wear the outfit you love
• speak up in the meeting
• enjoy the holiday photos
• leave the house at all
That’s why body image matters. Because shame shrinks lives.
What Harms People More Than Weight? Shame.
When public conversations become cruel, mocking or extreme, they rarely inspire healthy change.
They often create anxiety, self-hatred, and the belief that your worth rises and falls with the scale. That is especially damaging for young women and girls, who are already absorbing thousands of messages about appearance every year.
If someone hears:
• “You were lying when you said you felt confident.”
• “You only ever wanted to be skinny.”
• “Your body now proves your old body was wrong.”
…what they learn is this: You are never safe in any body.
Too big? Criticised. Too small? Criticised. Changed? Criticised. Stayed the same? Criticised.
That is not wisdom. It is noise that can lead to harm.
Bodies Change. That Is Normal.
It never fails to shock me how we forget as a society that bodies change, and they’re supposed to! Whether through: age, stress, grief, pregnancy, medication, illness, recovery, hormones, lifestyle, strength training, menopause, shifting priorities.
That is what bodies do. No one owes the public a permanent shape. And no one owes strangers an explanation for what size jeans they wear this year compared with three years ago.
4 Things That Helped Me Enjoy My Body This Week
Body confidence isn't about changing your body, it’s about comfort, style, softness, support and feeling like yourself again.
Lemonade Dolls Bras
Supportive, comfortable and confidence-boosting. Good underwear changes how you feel all day long.
The Perfect Petite Trench Coat
Adding a trench instantly makes everything feel elevated. It gives confidence without trying too hard.
Palmers Tahitian Vanilla Body Oil
Soft, glowing skin and a dreamy scent. Little rituals like this can make you feel incredible in your body.
Great Fitting Petite Jeans
The kind of jeans that fit properly can change your whole mood. These feel polished, flattering and easy to wear.
About Weight Loss Medications
GLP-1 medications like Ozempic and related drugs are now helping many people manage weight and metabolic health. They are also raising valid questions about long-term effects, access, sustainability and side effects. Both things can be true.
But if someone uses a medical tool to move toward their health goals, that does not automatically erase every past message they shared about confidence.
What Body Confidence Actually Looks Like
Real body confidence is not standing in the mirror thinking you are perfect every day.
It looks more like:
• wearing the dress now, not “when I lose weight”
• going to Pilates even on an insecure day
• eating lunch in public without shame
• taking the beach trip
• dating without waiting to be “perfect”
• pursuing your career without hiding
• speaking kindly to yourself while still improving habits.
That is body confidence. And it is available at any size.
You are allowed to want a healthier body. You are allowed to want a smaller body. You are allowed to want a stronger body. You are allowed to want no body goals at all.
And through all of it, you are still allowed to love yourself. Body positivity was never meant to mean “never change.” It meant: Your worth does not wait for a future version of you.
Steps to Improve Body Confidence and Body Image
If you’re struggling with body image, I want to share something that changed everything for me:
Years ago before starting Friday Petite, I had very poor body image and low self esteem but I realised a significant part of my poor body image had very little to do with MY body.
It stemmed from two things happening at the same time:
1. I didn’t have easy access to clothing that fit me
2. I was constantly shown narrow beauty ideals — women who were unrealistically tall, thin and polished as the standard to aspire to.
When that becomes the backdrop of everyday life, it’s easy to conclude: There is something wrong with ME.
But eventually I saw it differently. It was like waking up from a bad dream - I realised my body was actually very normal and healthy - the issue wasn’t that my body was wrong or that I was failing. The issue was that I was being measured against a distorted benchmark — while also being underserved by the fashion industry.
That’s a powerful distinction. And it changed my mindset and my life for good.
What Helped Me Heal
Instead of obsessing over changing myself, I began rebuilding my relationship with fashion and how I treated my body.
I set out to:
• find clothes that actually fit me and not think twice about the clothing that did not
• understand what proportions suited me instead of trying to force my body to fit an ideal or trend
• wear colours and silhouettes I loved - it was all about enjoyment
• make getting dressed feel fun again
• stop allowing fashion to feel like punishment
• stop waiting for a “better body” to enjoy myself
• start talking to myself with compassion
• start calling out the fashion industry and the media for their part in promoting unhealthy ideals that leads to harm
• never again care about what size is on the label
• start living my life free of concern of what anyone else thinks
And something surprising happened:
The more I found clothes that fit me, flattered me and felt like me, the more I enjoyed my life, the more I spoke to myself with compassion, the more fun I had, the more my body image improved. Not because my body changed. Because my experience of living in it changed.
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Read the guidePositive Body Image Doesn’t Mean Weight Never Changes
My weight has fluctuated significantly since then — up and down - across different seasons of life. But the healing remained. Even when I had goals. Even when I wanted to lose weight. Even when I felt fuller. Even when I felt leaner.
I still felt:
• confident
• attractive
• healthy-minded
• worthy
• able to enjoy life now
That is the beauty of positive body image. It doesn’t require perfection. It gives you stability through change.
Practical Steps You Can Take
If you want to improve body confidence, start here:
1. Audit the standards you’re consuming
If your feed is full of unrealistic bodies, extreme editing or one narrow look, your mind absorbs it. Diversify what beauty looks like.
2. Buy clothes for your body now
Not the body you plan to have “one day.” Fit matters more than size labels.
3. Stop using discomfort as motivation
Shame rarely creates lasting change. Respect does.
4. Enjoy your body every day
Ask: How can I make myself feel good today? Is it a particular outfit? perfume? Your favourite body oil? a new skincare regime? Some gorgeous lingerie that actually feels good to wear? Find ways to make your body feel good.
5. Separate goals from worth
You can have body goals without making your self-worth conditional on achieving them.
6. Let yourself be seen now
Don’t postpone photos, holidays, dating, opportunities or joy. Do the thing and enjoy yourself NOW.
7. Speak to yourself like someone you care about
Your body is listening.
What’s Really Important
Your body may change many times across your life.
Your confidence doesn’t have to disappear every time it does.
That’s freedom.
Be In The Know. Join The Inner circle
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